There are various reasons why married couples commit infidelity, and usually, these reasons are commonly the things that people take for granted. It’s the small things that count, as the saying goes.
What people miss are the little things that provoke a man or a woman to sleep with somebody else. To better understand the truth behind reasons for marital affairs and how to salvage yours, here are a few ideas that can help.
1. Lack of sexual surprise!
Does your marriage suffer from sexual boredom? Is it always the same position in bed?
Do you think that if you videotape your sexual encounters and give a narrative report you’ll give out a predictable play-by-play action almost to the point where you can sound like a weather forecaster instead of a sports commentator?
“The weather in the northern part of my face is dry, with a little light storm happening down south.
We’ll have a little missionary monsoon followed by a woman-on-top explosion just as expected”. If the answer to any one of these questions is yes then your marriage is prone to an affair.
What you can do is spice up the lovemaking with some sexual experiments. Unleash the passion by surprising your mate with aroma candles and a relaxing pre-sex massage tonight, then tomorrow night you can change it by going a bit dirty with whipped cream and chocolate fudge.
Use your imagination to show how much fun lovemaking can be in your marriage.
For fun, you can also check-in at a motel down the street and make love like as if it’s an illicit affair in a James Bond movie. A little role play never hurt anybody.
2. According to Gary Neuman, a psychologist and author of the book, “Why Men Cheat”, aside from a lack of sexual stimulation in your bedroom another reason that men cheat is not only the quality of the marital sex but also the frequency.
“Sex for men is an emotional act, and a woman initiating sex is “like getting flowers and him washing the dishes for us (women).”
Therefore, men, who usually feel like they need to build a monument for their wives just to get laid, will eventually feel an emotional disconnection at some point.
The same is true for women. Women who withhold sex to “punish” their partners for little things that disappointed them during the day will eventually lose their men’s fidelity.
They are actually defeating the purpose by cutting off their mate’s emotional desire. Men will eventually resent their wives if sex is going to be a lockdown each time they forget to take out the garbage.
3. Another powerful reason why people cheat in their marriages is the constant feeling of lack of appreciation for efforts made.
It doesn’t matter how simple they are, whether you bought your wife a Bugatti or you mowed the lawn for her all summer long, a lack of gratitude can be a big blow for your ego. The same goes for women.
If they feel like their efforts in taking care of the children are not reciprocated by a ‘Thank You’, then the emotional security goes out the window.
Women need to be complimented for their looks. They want to be reassured. As long as they know that they are still gorgeous to the eyes of the man they love, then they will keep on taking care of themselves and feel good about being his wife.
If a man acts like he’s embarrassed to be seen with his wife then this can be a big blow to a woman’s ego.
So keep complimenting her as much as you can. Kiss her on the neck when you come home from work, even if she smells like moldy sweat from cleaning up your dirty garage.
Also let your man know how much you get turned on by a hard working man the next time he hands you his monthly paycheck. Make each other feel wanted and appreciated and you’ll stay loyal together.
4. Workaholic spouses are more prone to be cheated on than those who come home to dinner on time. The intensity of work can lead to neglect in a relationship.
If you work late hours and your wife is left at home, alone and lonely, most of the time during the day, then do not be surprised if one day you find your pool boy swimming in your bed.
The same thing can happen to a workaholic wife, if she keeps coming home to bed too tired to have sex with her husband then it can ruin their emotional connection.
If you say that you’re working late for the sake of your marriage’s financial security then you must learn to realize that in any marriage time is just as important and precious as money.
Think about it. What will you do with your earnings if you don’t even have any time to spend it on that long awaited vacation to the Bahamas?
5. Mid-life crisis is also a factor for a cheating spouse.
Notice how some guys in their 50’s would tend to regress into a younger version of themselves? Grandpa starts to ditch his overhauls and suspenders in exchange for leather jackets and alligator boots.
Grandma starts acting funny by being extra flirty with young studs. Although it may seem harmless, these expressions of wanting to feel young can be a potential to seeking the company of much younger romantic partners.
As sick and gross as it may sound a mid-life crisis is just as tough for a marriage as any other challenge.
A few married men in their forties even date 20-something chicks they meet in bars, while they were grooving and raving on the dance floor like as if they were still on spring break. And ever heard of the word MILF or cougar?
That can be someone else’s wife dating young teenage boys. Some couples cheat because they want to escape from their mid-life crisis.
Feeling like as if time is no longer their luxury, they are missing out on life and they want to make the most out of living even to the point of hurting their partners.
People who regress by cheating usually have issues with missing out on themselves during their younger years.
They probably spent so much time in med school in their 20’s so they naturally missed out on the whole dating scenario at the time that they should have.
Or they probably started parenthood too early when they should have been just “normal” teenagers back then.
There are many healthy ways to deal with regression, such as accompanying your spouse to do the things he or she would like to do because there’s a saying “If you cannot beat them, then you might as well join them”.
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