5 Reasons Not To Confront A Cheating Spouse Without Evidence

by kajay on December 15, 2010


Not confront? Wait. Before you over-react, this article is meant to help you be 100% fool proof sure that your beloved spouse is indeed cheating before you blab. You also need to ask yourself if you need to know the truth.

Do you really want to find out if your husband or wife is cheating on you?

Will you be ready to accept if indeed your fears are true? If you are, then it’s time to take a step – behind your spouse’s back and learn for yourself if your distrust has basis. — if your spouse is unfaithful.

Deep inside, you know if your husband or wife is cheating on you because you will get some sort of gut feeling within yourself that tells you something is terribly wrong…that something is ‘fishy’.

Initially, you begin to suspect on the undetermined whereabouts, cell phone turned off late at night and your spouse isn’t home yet, those constant business trips, late nights out supposedly with the boys or girlfriends, and even the frequent overtime but there’s no increase in paycheck.

Spouses who go away on supposed business trips much too often are likely prone to committing bouts of infidelity. Remember the rule – opportunity, motive and alibi.

Well, while men will always be men, it doesn’t mean women can’t do the same to cover their tracks. You’ll be surprised at the glib, sly way your spouse can fib and oh so quickly.

You see, they have mastered the art of lying without the nose twitching or eyes blinking or speech stuttering and are able to smoothly convince you all is normal. Remember the rule – opportunity, motive and alibi.

Confronting is useless once you’re face to face with such a pathological liar because you do not like the results.

Here’s why:

1. DENIAL TO HIGH HEAVENS. Then your spouse will turn around and say,”do you have proof? “If you haven’t, there’s no case. Period.

Your fights could become uglier over time. Frustrated at your spouse’s skill in handling clandestine affairs, you have no choice but to be a veritable nag till both of are so exhausted and you get a separation or divorce instead of dealing with the issue amicably.

2. BUT WE’RE JUST FRIENDS! Hah! You know better. Your instinct smells a rotting rat a mile away, but if you just put your finger on them and pin them both down especially if the accomplice in question is your best friend or coworker.

Your spouse will just shrug and accuse you instead. “You’re over-reacting, imagining things. How can you say that, of all people? Don’t you trust me? Your best friend, who’s practically part of the family? Really now?

3. I’M TIRED OF YOUR NAGGING, I’M LEAVING – YOU! Assuming the role of a beleaguered spouse, your husband or wife will tell neighbors that lately you’re becoming impossible to handle, suspicious, nagging and worse, violent.

Neighbors’ sympathy will be on him/her once your spouse leaves you because you drove him/her to doing it and the worst part is you’ll be the villain!

4. YOU’RE THE UNFAITHFUL ONE. This one’s for the record. Your spouse may claim you’re actually the one making it up to cover your own secret sin!

Aghast and indignant, you will be speechless and hurt that he/she can think that way about you when you have been faithful to your spouse all this time.

This will disarm you from trying to nag your spouse into admitting. If you do, the same old argument will continue because you don’t have a shred of proof, dear.

5. VIOLET WITH VIOLENCE. By this we mean either verbally abusive or physically violent, to make you stop haranguing or confronting your spouse at any point when he/she comes home late, reeking of cologne – woman’s or somewhat disheveled.

Don’t ever, ever try to catch a misbehaving thief – unless you are prepared to lose the battle round. As they say, when there’s smoke, there’s fire which can pretty much mean a sizzling affair in the roast. So, how can you be absolutely certain? HIRE A PRIVATE EYE.

The best way to find out if someone is cheating on you is to hire a private detective. Private detectives are usually good at what they do. They can quickly follow your spouse around and give you proof of their whereabouts like pictures hotel receipts, etc. and other possible rendezvous of where they may be cavorting.

So if it’s peace of mind you want and the certainty of really, really knowing for sure if your spouse is faithful or a lousy cheat, get a reputable private investigator to do the job. Ask yourself if you need to know the truth. Do you really want to find out if your husband or wife is cheating on you.

Being objective is always the best way to go when trying to figure out what went wrong and why in a relationship. The truth may sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow.

But many spouses believe it is always better to find out the truth, rather than walk through life warped in a lie. Nobody wants to go through life hurting because they were being lied to and be made a fool of.

A trouble-free married life can only be achieved if honesty and commitment are valued highly in a couple’s relationship.

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